Perfect Woman

Hubby grabbed me, hugged me tightly and said "You know, you could not be more perfect to me......well, maybe if you could shit tamales..."

How Long?

Hubby:  "It was a week ago when we had sex."

Me:  "It was three days ago....THREE DAYS AGO!  What?  You were calculating it in dog years?"

Nipple-seur

While he was paying attention to my nipples I said "You know if nipple nibbling were an art form, you would be like a DaVinci."